


Second Chances

by kinneyb



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 22:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10603296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb
Summary: Alex has been in the hospital for a little while now but he's only been awake for three days. During those three days, he's had no visitors but his dad (who doesn't really count). He isn't surprised, of course, cause he isn't even really sure he has any friends at this point. But then he gets an unexpected visitor: Clay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ok listen i actually like this a lot i think i did good especially considering i haven't written in a long time
> 
> also yes this is classified as alex/clay and it does have a little hinting from alex's side but honestly if u wanna just think of it as platonic u probably can and still enjoy the fic anyway follow me on twitter @ froyheizer if u want love y'all

Alex had been awake in the hospital for three days before anyone actually visited him, excluding his father of course. He wasn't surprised no one came cause truthfully he didn't really think he _had_ any friends at this point.

Even his own brother had used excuse after excuse to avoid visiting him, and it's not like Alex blamed him. He hated hospitals.

Anyway, propped up in a hospital bed with bandages wrapped around his head wasn't exactly how he wanted anyone to see him. He didn't need a mirror to know he looked like shit.

The one visitor he did get - his dad - wasn't very good company. He just sat there, occasionally asking if he needed anything but never saying much more. It was almost suffocating like he was only there cause he knew he had to be; that was his part in all of this.

Clay, however, had no part in this. When he stepped through the door, Alex just stared. And continued staring even as his father entered after him.

"Uh, Clay, right?" he first addressed Clay before glancing at his own son. "Clay was waiting to see you."

Alex blinked, still saying nothing. He was shocked for two reasons, really. One, he wasn't friends with Clay. Sure, they had interacted a few times because of the tapes but that was all it ever was; inevitable interactions based on circumstances.

Two, Clay looked... good, happy even. Not perfectly like his old self, maybe, but so much better. Alex felt a surge of jealously at that. He wasn't really angry at him - just bitter; bitter he already looked so much better when Alex was still downward spiraling.

Just cause the bullet hadn't killed him didn't mean everything was finished or suddenly okay again, no matter how many times his father tried convincing him it was.

"I guess I'll leave you two alone," his dad said, breaking the silence. He disappeared back out the door and gently closed it behind him.

Alex finally looked away from Clay, staring at the white blanket thrown over his body.

He heard more than saw Clay cross the room and take a seat in the chair his father had been occupying earlier that morning. He closed his eyes now, focusing on his breathing. In and out. In, out. In, out.

"Alex," Clay pulled him out of his own mind. Opening his eyes, he breathed out one last time and looked over at him. "I know we're not really friends - "

He was interrupted by a scoff. "We're 'not really' anything, Jensen. Why are you even here?"

If Alex was honest he was a little surprised by how genuinely hurt Clay looked for a second before his face took on a blank expression. "I... we, really, were so focused on Hannah, we missed what was happening right in front of our faces. Again."

Alex rolled his eyes, ignoring the throbbing in his head. The doctors said it was to be expected. "And what exactly was happening?"

"You, Alex," the words rolled right off Clay's tongue. "You were happening, and we missed it."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "So you're here out of guilt? Because of Hannah?" He wasn't surprised, of course, but disappointment still flooded him like a drug.

"That's not the right way of looking at it," Clay said simply like it really was the most simple thing in the world to him. "Hannah... made me realize things I didn't notice or know before but she's not why I'm here, Alex."

Alex chanced a look at him, feeling oddly like a child being scorned by a parent. Clay looked so intense - so determined. A weird feeling, warm and comforting, spread through his chest and he quickly looked away again.

"You're a good person, Alex. Mistakes, tapes, they don't matter. You're not a bad person because of them. Some of the people on the tapes," Clay hesitated, "are terrible people, yes, but you're not one of them."

Alex choked out a laugh. "Right."

Clay huffed. "I'm being serious, man. You made a stupid mistake and learned from it. You didn't know what was going to happen. And as much as people want to say that doesn't play a part, it does."

"Are you sure you're not just using me to make yourself feel better?" Alex regretted the words the second they left his mouth but it was too late.

Once again he felt like shit when Clay looked genuinely hurt by his words. "That's not - "

"I'm right, aren't I?" And yet more words spilled out. "You feel bad you couldn't save Hannah and you think you'll somehow feel better if you can save me? Well, you won't." His throat felt like it was on fire but he couldn't stop. "Don't throw your pity at me, Clay, I swear I don't want it."

Suddenly he realized why his throat had been burning. As if being propped up in a hospital bed with bandages wrapped around his head and machines all around him wasn't bad enough but now he was _crying_.

He wasted no time in wiping away the tears, feeling more and more like an idiot.

"Alex..." Clay's voice was so soft and comforting Alex couldn't have gotten up the strength to tell him to fuck off if he'd wanted to. "I swear that's not why I'm here. I don't want that. I know well enough nothing can change what happened with Hannah or make me feel better about it. But if you really want me to go, I will."

Except he stayed planted right there in that stupid chair. And Alex was grateful he did.

After a few minutes of just pure silence, Clay finally spoke again.

"I know you don't have many friends." Alex side-eyed him almost accusingly. "Hey, the tapes basically confirmed that, right?"

Alex pursed his lips and looked away. He kind of had a point.

"It was you, Hannah, Jessica. With Hannah gone and Jessica dealing with her own stuff... Fuck, Alex, has anyone but me even visited?"

The question stung a little but Alex could tell by Clay's voice he meant no harm. And he wasn't actually sure if he was expected to answer or not. Licking his lips, he shrugged. "Does my dad count?"

"Is me wanting to be there for you so bad?"

This question, however, just made him feel funny. Almost tingly. Alex whipped his palms on the blanket, squinting. _Was_ it so bad? Clay wasn't wrong - who did he really have? His dad, sure, but he was there because he had to be. Maybe having someone there for him... would be nice.

He didn't say that, of course. "What do you get out of it?"

Alex barely looked in time to see Clay's smile, small but sincere. "I don't know," he shrugged, smile widening a bit. "I've heard you're a pretty good listener. And I really think I could use that right now."

"Oh, so you do get something out of it?" Alex quirked an eyebrow. He wasn't really sure if Clay could see that with the bandages and all though. His smirk, however, he knew the other boy could see. "Should've known."

Clay rolled his eyes, gently smacking his leg. "Shut up."

Alex faked a grunt of pain. "Did you really just hit me? I'm injured - remember?"

When he looked back, Clay was smiling again. Really smiling this time, all teeth with a glitter in his eyes. Alex promptly ignored the fluttering in his chest. He knew it meant something but for now he locked that feeling up and pushed it deep, deep down.

And simply smiled back.

Maybe, he decided, things really would be okay.


End file.
